Holiday Season

First of all, I'd like to wish you all a belated Happy Christmas, and hope that whatever you did and whoever you did it with left you feeling happy, relaxed and content (even if it was a millisecond).

So, what have I been up to?  It's that time of year here in the UK when everything grinds down for Christmas.  Now.  I will confess that I haven't been sooo busy with making things, but here are a few pics of a headdress I'm making.

Here are some bits and bobs on the floor and you can already see there's an idea at work there...










First of all I used a base I had made a couple of weeks ago and yes, I did forget to take pics of what I did so I'll try and remedy that at some point, I promise.  But it's easy, when I show you what I do you'll say, "Yeah?  I could have worked that out!"  


So, purple velvet base, and the first thing I'm going to do is sew on some chains.  I used my trusty wire-cutters to snip through the different lengths of chain I had, and then they were all sewn onto the base, four chains on either side.  Symmetry.  (I fight very hard against symmetry so I might mention it again).

The, before you know it I've added feathers and a recycled belt buckle, and some flowers and then what's not yet seen are a brooch and some vintage chandelier drops..... If my camera battery will charge up in time then I'l add a pic of those added before I go....

I love making headdresses. I've made headresses for all manner of dancers (and divas) and will continue to do so.

So once the New Year is over with and every settles back into it's normal routine, I shall continue to create pretty things, and hopefully have more time to develop my creativity.

I hope for a happy, harmonious and heavenly year for us all in 2012. xxx

Blackwillow Blog Resurrection

Some months ago I decided (somewhat hastily it turns out) to leave this Blog and concentrate more on another one I run as I just didn't seem to have the time and energy to maintain two..... but, we're all allowed to change our minds aren't we?

Why have I changed my mind? Well, what's the point of having a space with my name on it and no activity.  It just seems daft.  So my task this week is to think about how I'm going to use my time when my littlest one starts his nursery place in January 2012.  Most of my creativity is channelled into the evenings (not easy having been a full-time mum all day) but at the same time I have to practice and prepare for my belly dance classes, work on dances I am preparing AND do all of my promotional work.

In January though, I shall get two hours a day to do one or more of the above things uninterrupted.  What bliss!

In the meantime, I'd like to show you a picture of a choker I made recently - I've got plans for more and I'll keep you posted.

I've got another two like this in production, although they may have to wait as tonight I shall be helping out at a school Christmas Fayre and I'm unlikely to get in early enough to get either of them finished.

Last Minute Hioliday

Got a few suggestions for this now, thanks to those that helped! xx

Crystal Headdresses #2

So here's some of what I made at the weekend - just simple band headdresses from chandelier beads - the time consuming bit was making sure all the links were in the same direction and bending the wire in so that the beads won't come apart -plus ensuring there are no "snaggy" bits to get caught on hair.

There are some more of these to come, with more elaborate drapes...

And whilst I was in a slightly Medieval mood I added some beads and drops to some pendant necklaces I made this weekend too.

Crystal Headdresses

I have a huge bag of old chandelier crystals so today I am having a go at making gorgeous crystal headdresses.  My fingers are a little....ragged shall we say from wiring them together, but sometimes my pain is your beauty!
Obviously the next task will be to photograph them and do them justice, but for now I'll just keep on making and we'll see what happens.

Internet Dating

For almost a year now I've been single.  Pretty happy with being single as I've got more than enough to do what with the kids and making stuff and getting it all up on Etsy and everything else.

But recently my mind has turned to the possibility of meeting someone new, someone who would add  a little extra to my life.... However - the big catch is that I don't really go out much (I know, very sad).  I get to go out with friends about once a month and other than that I'm at toddler groups, volunteering or at belly dance events and to be fair there are very few single, eligible men at any of those places!

So my option - Internet dating.  Gulp.  But surely (I told myself) there must be reasonable men who use those sites?  Nice men who like myself don't get much opportunity to get out and who aren't complete saddoes, who would like to meet someone, chat a bit, meet up maybe, see what happens?  After all, if you meet someone in a bar or at a party you effectively know nothing about them and you have to take a bit of time to see what develops.  Surely finding a date via the wonders of the Interwebs is pretty much the same so long as you're careful?

After choosing a picture that wasn't provocative or taken too long ago I took a deep breath and joined a couple of sites.  Added some profile information and then away we go.....

Oh yes.  Away we go to the land of a million ice-breaker messages where it's obvious that the man sending it hasn't read my profile at all.  Away to the land of, "Cor, you look lovely, fancy a flirt?"  Er no, say hi first please.  "Hi babe, fancy a chat?"  Ok, so at least that one said hi first but......     Sigh....already I'm feeling jaded and as though this might be a mistake.  But hey, can't fall at the first fence.

Five months down the line and it's all pretty much the same.  Until I got a couple of messages from men who had actually read my profile, who lived not too far away but seemed to live far away enough for them to have to put some proper effort into being a stalker.  Who actually engaged in a bit of email chit chat and banter before suggesting we meet up.

Tentatively I agreed (well, after all, they looked quite attractive and the picture might not be of them, the profile might be made up nonsense - just because I'm honest doesn't mean they are) and so made arrangements with friends that they would be at the venue (lurking in a corner) should we actually fix a date and a time.

But relax folks, after almost going on a date with a lunatic I managed to rescue myself at the last minute due to both men being unable to restrain themselves any longer and sending me emails detailing the size of their *equipment*.  Really chaps, too much information.  All possible dates cancelled, dating site profile removed, back to making pretty things for Etsy!

How quickly I change my mind....

So as I love blogging I've decided not to let this lapse after all - I'll just pop in here every now and again and use it like a diary.....xx

Bye bye eBlogger....

I'm quite sad to go really, I like eBlogger.  I like the set-up, the ease of use - it feels friendly....

BUT.  I also like having things in one place.

So I'm off to pastures that are not as new as they were....and that I'm slowly getting my head around....

Make sure to come join me at the new Twinkle Twinkle Shiny Things blog.

xx

Bit quiet here...

...but only because of the stream-lining I mentioned a couple of weeks ago.

At some point I shall get around to inviting everyone who follows me o come and join me elsewhere and then this blog will no longer exist.

If you want to pop over in the meantime then you can find me here... so please feel free to come on over and subscribe to me and I'll be sure to subscribe back from that one.

Oh I know it's a pain but this is helping me keep my thoughts and life in order a little bit.....

See you on the other side!

Streamlining #2

So as part of my streamlining process I have finally decided to do away with my www.blackwillowtribal.co.uk website.

It's been a part of my life for some time now but as more and more of my sales and enquiries are coming via the Etsy shop I think I am wasting my money in keeping it going.  So I am starting to shift everything over and then when that's done I shall shut the website down.

SO.  If you have www.blackwillowtribal.co.uk bookmarked then you should hot-foot over to www.blackwillowbellydance.co.uk instead and go bookmark that one instead.  And hopefully you all go take a look at the Etsy shop anyway?  And if not why not? 

It makes so much more sense to have everything in one place.  And I shall have to think about transferring this Blog over to the one that's integrated into that website - again, it makes more sense to have everything in one place although I'm loving how easy this blog is to mess around with and configure.  I'm really not that technical (I'm sure I must have mentioned this before?) and the other blog bamboozles me a bit but hey, just need to make my life a little easier.

I still have a pre-schooler with me until January next year and as I generally only have evenings to get things made, practice dance and prepare for classes as well as all the promotional stuff that goes with being a teacher and designer - well, I just need a couple of places to go each evening when I'm doing webwork rather than 5 or 6. Luckily the little man was out with his dad this morning and I've had a good couple of hours on here whilst he's been relaxing so I've been able to back lots of things up, do a bit of SEO work, tweak things here and there in readiness for all the switch-overs.

I'll keep you posted with everything that's happening so that you can pop over and subscribe to stuff as it's happening, and hopefully you'll all come and see me over on the other blog and the other wbsite and then I'll make sure that I go and subscribe to everyone I like to keep up with in blog-space so I don't miss out on anything.

Purple Silk

If you follow me on Facebook then you will know that I have been wrestling with some exquisite purple silk.  It also has some kick ass embroidery sections that include beading and I feel like I have had to take the whole thing apart in order to achieve what I want to achieve.  But I am getting somewhere.  Excellent!

As usual I have been remiss at taking pictures, but I feel justified in this.  This is a custom order and the silk sari was given to me by the customer to work on for her.  If I'm clever I'll make sure that I take pics once it's finished but you will never ever know how much work has gone into this as I didn't take before pictures.

It's all had a good couple of coats of looking at. the skirt has been hanging for three weeks in order to sort out any hemming issues, the belt section was completely taken apart from the original piece and put together in a more fluid way, the bra is looking hot, and all I need to get started on now are the arm-cuffs and the headdress and then I will feel as though I am cooking with gas.

AND I have had three days out with the kids in the half-term holidays, put up with nonsense from another quarter, and eaten a huge amount of chocolate.  An altogether productive week.  :)

OH!  I am almost at the point of taking out a mortgage in order to sort out a tattoo that needs some work and who knows how long that will be before it gets proper attention but at least I am in discussion with a recommended tattoo artist.....you see, I get there eventually......

Twinkle Twinkle......practical things....

This is a slightly off tangent post but hey, it's important.

I have three camping trips organised for me and kids this year, one at the end of June, then another the week after and then we're off to WOMAD at the end of July.  I love camping.  The kids love camping even though one of them has no memories of doing it when he was a year old.  And the most important thing you can do when camping is be warm at night. You don't need to be grumpy when camping.  You need to be warm....

So even though I have most of the practical things like a tent (natch) and airbeds (must test them for leaks this week) pump for said airbeds and a huge box of stuff that one needs when camping (for food prep and eating) I don't have any sleeping bags.  Don't ask me why, I'll start ranting about people I shouldn't rant about....

But thanks to a forum I love I am now all prepped to go shopping tomorrow and pick up some sleeping bags at half price.  Rest assured though I shall make sure we all have warm pyjamas (don't ask me how when the shops are now full of summer stuff, I'll work that out in the next couple of weeks), duvets, quilts and WARM sleeping bags.

So tomorrow I have buy sleeping bags.  Bizarrely this fills me with a great sense of satisfaction........

I shall also need to remember to put my Etsy shop on vacation on those weekends in order to ensure that my customers don't think I'm a klutz that can't organise myself.

Streamlining

I'm currently making some changes to my main costuming website. For a while now I feel as though I've been balancing far too many plates, not always managing to keep all of them up and spinning.

So I'm streamlining and trying to make sure that just about everything is in one place.  Now, to be sure, this will take some time, and I'm not SuperMum.  I wish I was....  I've watched Britain's Got Talent, watched a fashion show, taken the tyres off of a truck, given cuddles, supper and sympathy, listened to the tired crying of a 2 and a half year old, and done motherly chores before being able to sit down and get on with some of this stuff. 

BUT.

Ultimately, I hope that it will streamline my online existence.

And because I want to expand what I already have on the website I'm opening up an offer....if you want a tutorial on how to do something, what do you want to see?  What do you want more information about?  What would make your browsing experience with me more enjoyable?  Do you just want more pictures?  Do you want something you can afford to buy?  Do you want to know how you can make the best of what you've got?  Let me know, I'll try and oblige and try to offer more too.....

Sneak Peek

Here's a couple of necklaces....

Feeling a bit crook

Bleurgh...... that's how I feel.......

Both me and the littlest of the little ones has been ill since Saturday. I think I did fantastically well at pulling off a party for my daughter on Sunday, and her brother was a star because he managed not to throw up (proper projectile Family Guy style) until everyone had gone. 

Luckily the birthday girl hasn't been ill, so one of us at least feels the full ticket - it's just a shame I can't get her to cook an evening meal; well, 7 is a little young for that although I'm sure she could manage to get us a bowl of cereal each if pushed.

The milestone 7th birthday has inspired me to offer her pocket money too, but I'm sure that's just a passing idea brought on by lack of food and a fuddled brain.  She'll have to do chores for it of course and luckily she got a new money box for her birthday so I shall encourage her to save half of the magnificent sum of £2 I am offering.  We'll see how that goes.

Tonight should be dance practice night but I feel a bit weak and shivery so that may not happen - I shall miss the company and the laughing, won't miss the lunges, sit-ups, press-ups and associated pain that will no doubt linger in my achey limbs. 

And as today is the night we have to trot off to a dodgy pet-shop in order to buy two goldfish for the classy Ariel tank that now adorns the kitchen I might just sit at home and watch them go round and round in the tank until the queasiness wears off - or will that just add to it?

Finishing up with house stuff

We moved exactly a month ago and although everything was pretty much sorted quite quickly I have now *officially* finished getting things sorted out.  I've been sleeping in a single bed which was fine, but being a grown up I quite like having the sprawl of a double.  And when the kids get in with me in the mornings it's easier to have a group cuddle in a big bed.

Today I picked up a bargain double bed and mattress, all taken apart for me by the chap selling it.  I managed to get it all into the car all out again although the mattress was a bit of a struggle.  Even I was surprised that it only took an hour to take apart the single bed, get that all upstairs into the attic room and put together again and made up as a *day bed* in the rooms the kids use as an extra play-room.

Then it was onto the double - again, pretty fast to get it put together and then came the task of heaving the heavy double mattress up-stairs.  I hate asking for help if I think I can manage something alone, so I pulled and heaved and got the thing up the stairs.  So all is done!  Marvellous.

My next big task is to sort my calendar of upcoming events, try and make a proper schedule of when I shall do what as my head has really not been in proper dance practice/research/sewing/Etsying/promoting and pimping mode for the last month, but now that I've done a few physical tasks today and made some phone-calls that were required my head-space has returned.

Three custom orders require my attention, there are more items to get listed on Etsy and the Blackwillow Tribal website and I've got to get everything ready for the Mira Betz hafla I'm going to this saturday.

OH!  And I keep forgetting, it's my daughter's 7th birthday this Sunday.  I'm such a bad mother!  I really do need to remember that I have party prep to do, cakes to make, pressies to buy and myriad other things to sort out in town this week.

Best of all though?  I'm loving it.  Loving living here, loving being unencumbered by negative emotions, loving life and feeling happy.

I much like Mucha

My next little project this week is to make myself some new page icons for the blackwillowtribal.co.uk site.  I recently purchased a CD of images from www.lunagirl.com and amongst them are some lovely Mucha images that I shall play with - maybe this evening?

 Image courtesy of Lunagirl.com

It's that beautiful, flowing, organic movement that I and many others love.  His use of colour is just sublime.  I think that Mucha paintings and drawings are always flavouring the things I make when it's appropriate, and so I'm very much looking forward to adding the new icons to my website when they're done.

More importantly though, I have custom orders to get started on.  Icons or sewing?  Maybe I'll toss a coin or do a bit of both once the children are in bed.

New beginnings

So last night I managed to get some pics up for your sneak peek and later tonight they'll I shall be sorting out the listings for them.  I was multi-tasking last night - talking on the phone as I was uploading the pics and it was just a multi-task too far to try and type at the same time.

I'm all moved to a new home.  It's lovely - the garden is a great place to take picture and as you may notice there's a great wall of ivy to use as a back-drop for some items, particularly the headdresses.  As I now have a tripod to use there should be fewer wobbly pictures too....

Inspiration is flowing.  Next on the list to do is to get some pictures of the lovely vintage brooches I have - all of them would make great additions to dance costumes and as usual some of them you won't see until I incorporate them into new designs. 

And fabulous feather accessories are forming in my mind and should soon become reality....watch this space....

Sneak Peek

Just one sleep to go......

You are then allowed to bug me.

To ask me where the new things are.  :)

A new home.......

...I can almost sigh with relief.  Almost.  Not quite.  I'll do that when everything is moved, the children happy, the boxes emptied and the late afternoon sun shining on us in the garden.

For some time now I have been an unhappy soul, wandering in my physical space, wondering whilst drifting in emotional space about my sanity, my resolve and the future of myself and the small people I have co-created.

The step I am about to take fills me with myriad emotions.  Excitement.  Fear.  Longing.  Trepidation.  Optimism. 

Stop!  Did I write *optimism*?  That is an elusive emotion that has been missing from my life for far too long.

I have high hopes for the future, I really do.  Although my time will be no less and possibly more filled by the needs of my children I am determined to do the best I can to fulfill my need for creativity and to earn a living from my creativity.  If I fail then at least I will have given it a fighting chance.  And if I succeed?  Then I can continue to be driven by my muses.

To use child speak, I move house in four sleeps.  Four sleeps!  This is a massive step for me, rented property with two small children to care for and protect and bring up, not entirely alone but more alone than before and that honestly makes me feel happy. 

New Home

Nothing has been made.  Lots of things are in flux, none more than my escape to a new home. 

Once myself and the children are in our new home I am sure that my creativity will be able to speak again, and not be silenced by concern, worry, fear or trepidation and will blossom due to happiness.

The garden has real blue-bells. The protected kind.  And my friend tells me that I have a peony growing in one of the beds......

Can I survive the ups and downs?

I think I can.  But if I lose my sanity please come and visit me.....

Unfortunately my personal life impacts hugely on my creativity.  I can't say much more.  The point of coming here was to explain my absence recently, but I think I'm just going to keep it all inside for a bit and I'll share next week, when I know more......

Necklaces and things that go deeper.......

So.  In my huge collection of stuff I have beads, bead wires, spacers, threads and all of the paraphenalia associated with jewelery making.  And every so often I am inspired to make something from this ever growing stash.  Here's a couple of pics of the stash...

So in the world of jewelery what is still really hot at the moment are necklaces made up of slightly incongruent elements.  The colours integrate but the necklace isn't symmetrical.  This is harder than it sounds to recreate properly and I strive to make something beautiful each time I create a wearable item.

I was too late in taking some proper pics this evening as the children were enjoying playing in the garden and with a river at the end of the garden that takes some supervising believe me.

But here are the quick pics of what I've done today:

 
When I was at school I wanted to go to art college and fully explore the artistic side of myself that I knew existed.  My parents, being more pragmatic, wanted something else for me and so I pursued a career working with people, that to their credit has stood me in good stead.

Now I get to pursue both of these avenues and that makes me very happy.

Being Human

Ask me how I'm coping with without it next week........

Hiya!!

I feel as though I have been ignoring you all....

That's not the truth, I've been thinking about you, honestly.  But I've been dealing with the day to day life issues us mothers of young children deal with - mainly getting the kids to bed before 9pm, and then trying to be committed/organised enough to get something else done before I go to bed myself.


Soon, soon I will post something interesting......

Being Human

Not that I've watched it yet, possibly ever, but there's a US version of Being Human.  Sorry US readers, your version will NOT be a patch on the original.  It's something uniquely British, like Terry Pratchett (who has never yet translated well to the big screen, the delicacy of his wit does not seem to translate to movies well at all) and Douglas Adams (who did translate well).

Without giving things away I feel sure that the fourth series will delight and deliver.  I refuse to believe that the writers and collaborators of this superb drama series will disappoint us in the face of such obvious distress.

The last series has had me hold my breath for almost the full hour on more than one occasion, bite my hand (I thought only people in bad dramas did that but I DID do it - one of the cage fighting scenes as I recall), cry, laugh - a bit -  and admire actors/actresses I had no admiration for previous to their inclusion in Being Human.

Those that know wait with baited breath......

Sneak Peek

I have a couple of vintage items that will go up on Etsy in the next couple of days, two of them are vintage Banjara anklets, usually used by Tribal and Fusion belly dancers these days as other body costume parts.  There's also a really delicate lapis necklace.  And for the non-vintage lovers I have a new cuff and will soon have another in the same fabrics and lace but with extra embellishment......

Oh, and there's a headdress that I need to get a good full headshot of.......

Couldn't Get a Photo......

...because I had to stop the water from leaking through the ceiling below.  Today my pre-schooler son decided to run the taps in the upstairs bathroom sink.  I was down-stairs getting my daughter's packed lunch ready when she said, "Mum, is he having a bath?"

No, I thought....

NO!!!!

Cue legging it upstairs to find the taps turned on full and a floor half-covered in water.  Many many towels later it was all mopped up and now the plug has been removed from the sink but the sad reality is that when the taps are turned on fully enough, no plug is needed to flood the sink and the floor.....

The upside is that I was quite awake because not one small child crawled into bed with me at an ungodly hour.... : )

Never Enough Sleep

This morning I was woken at 5.46am with a toddler stretched out diagonally across my bed, and with my 6-year-old daughter sitting forlornly at the end of the bed.

"What's the matter?" I asked.  "I can't get into your bed," she said.  So I moved over and she got in and as this is a pretty frequent situation and I never get enough sleep I told her, "One day, when you're a teenager and want to stay in bed all day I shall get my own back and come and wake you up."

"You'll forget," she replied.

I won't............

The Belly Dance Extravaganza.....

This event to help celebrate Women's Week was a lovely way to spend a Thursday evening.  We had been asked to come and do a bit of teaching and performing at a bar in town.

Myself, Emma and Kat all got to wear our new stripey trousers (yay!) and taught a group of enthusiastic women how to belly dance.  (I'm on the far left below)

As with any event, it's hit and miss as to who will actually come, and in the end the 15 or so attendees fitted the available space beautifully.  There were a few faces that we knew, so I made them do some moves with added finger cymbals, just to tax them a little more than they would have liked.  I couldn't get any pics of them with the sagat (mores the pity) but they did really well!

Below are pics of the attendees (blurry enough for no-one to be recognisable!) and then underneath are some pics of the three of us performing.

The organiser of the event emailed to say thank you and also mentioned that the bar owners had said how much fun the event was and how relaxed everyone seemed and that that must be down to us!  Yay us!

Spice Must Flow

Ahhhh, small children and what they find amusing......

After the recent butter experiments (yes, although I only blogged about it once there were more days when butter and kitchen implements were my sons favourite toys...) I could only wonder what was to come next.

My spice rack is what came next.....

There was no vehicle involved, he managed to climb up onto the kitchen side via the integral wine rack at the end of the kitchen.  I was unaware of this as I was downstairs putting some washing in and hanging further washing out.  When I got upstairs I saw him standing on the kitchen work surface, kitchen cabinets open, him with a big smile...."I cooking mummy."

This is what he had achieved...

It may not look like much, but the pot contained sea salt, and from what I can see he had added:
cinnamon
ginger
rosemary
celery seeds

dried chilis
cumin
coriander
thyme
and had added a bit of bubble mixture for juiciness.......

I hope he puts these experiments to good use when he's older!

Sneak Peek, earrings and necklace

Here's your sneak peek at the new items.  They probably won't go up on Etsy until later tonight as I'm grabbing time whilst cooking a roast lunch, mediating a teddy bears party and getting ready to teach this afternoon.

Derren Brown

One of his shows is on TV again - if he weren't gay I'd be begging him to marry me, I think he's amazing at what he does.

Feathers #2

So tonight I was going to try and get an early night.....

Instead I've made (or started to make) four pairs of layered feathered earrings.  I say started because I'm waiting for the glue to go off overnight and tomorrow night I'll get them all wired up.  I won't take pics now (boo!) because the light here is dreadful and won't show them off in their glory.

This batch probably won't have a huge amount of bling attached because I want to put them up on Etsy as part of a tiered set - that means that the next set will have rhinestones and freshwater pearls threaded onto them as extra decoration and will offer customers the opportunity to buy the unthreaded ones at a lower price than the threaded ones.

Feathers!

Today saw the arrival of many new feathers to stash and I will confess that fly-tying feathers are officially my new objects of joy.  I've not been able to buy as many colours as I would have liked but I have lots of plans for the ones I've got, especially the beautiful strong and flexible generic hackles that enable me to thread things onto them without damage to the filaments.  The dust-buster will come in very handy in getting rid of the excess fluff that needs to come off of them in order to make sleek and sexy earrings and other accessories.

And now I'm working my way through a huge list of *things to do* so that I can free my mind of clutter and get on with designing and making as I can find the mundane things in life can get in the way of creativity (although I'm pretty good at not doing the ironing, that one never bothers me.)

I've paid for my Deb Rubin workshop that will be happening at a weekend event in Southampton in April (details can be found here) and I'm very much looking forward to that.  As well as doing a workshop I shall be dancing with Covert Bling in the evening Hafla and vending as Blackwillow Tribal on the Saturday.  Make sure to come along and say hi if you're there.

I now have to go and pay for my WOMAD ticket as I plan to take the kids there this summer, reply to a couple of emails, and have decided that I need to take a trip to Fabricland this week in order to see a couple of fabrics in the flesh before putting in an order for some fabrics for Covert Bling.

Once that's all done I'm going to sit back and play with feathers for a bit!

A quick catch up

Well, there's very little to report here as this week has been full of half-term entertainments and viruses.  It's all over soon and hopefully normality will descend once G is back at school.

I have managed to get a headdress made and three cute little cuffs that will be perfect for summer evenings with pretty t-shirts and jeans but pics on websites will have to wait until tomorrow.  Here's a little peek though....

And tonight I'm off to eat Turkish food, gossip with friends and watch Ozgen dance.  Yay!!!