Wednesday, 13 April 2011

A new home.......

...I can almost sigh with relief.  Almost.  Not quite.  I'll do that when everything is moved, the children happy, the boxes emptied and the late afternoon sun shining on us in the garden.

For some time now I have been an unhappy soul, wandering in my physical space, wondering whilst drifting in emotional space about my sanity, my resolve and the future of myself and the small people I have co-created.

The step I am about to take fills me with myriad emotions.  Excitement.  Fear.  Longing.  Trepidation.  Optimism. 

Stop!  Did I write *optimism*?  That is an elusive emotion that has been missing from my life for far too long.

I have high hopes for the future, I really do.  Although my time will be no less and possibly more filled by the needs of my children I am determined to do the best I can to fulfill my need for creativity and to earn a living from my creativity.  If I fail then at least I will have given it a fighting chance.  And if I succeed?  Then I can continue to be driven by my muses.

To use child speak, I move house in four sleeps.  Four sleeps!  This is a massive step for me, rented property with two small children to care for and protect and bring up, not entirely alone but more alone than before and that honestly makes me feel happy. 

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