Dark and Dirty

I feel as though I am at an interesting cross-roads in my life.

In two days time my youngest child will be 4 years old.  Let's take that sentence apart a little bit.  "My youngest child."  That means I have another older child.  Quick head count....ok, I have two children....  Once upon a time I would have assured you that I would bear no children and in all fairness to myself I was thirty seven years old when I had my first.  Forty one years old when I had second (the one who will be 4 in two days time).  In two days my youngest child will be four - that means that he doesn't go to school for another year.  I love my children dearly and would not be without them but there was a time when I thought that having children would satisfy a creative urge inside of me that would supersede all other creative urges.  Thankfully I was wrong.

I'll spare you some of the details for now but will share that I am happier now than I have been for a long time, even though there are parts of me that are unfulfilled and unexplored.  With a favourable moon I am about to explore a part of me that I have not yet delved into....

Recently I sold some stuff (you know, the kind of stuff that you surround yourself with cos you need it) and with the proceeds I've been able to invest in some basic tools and materials and once I'm done with making cakes and wrapping presents and teaching belly dance and trying to sell a few more things to make ends meet I shall begin to explore a side of myself that even I am a little wary of.  I could well fail at what I want to achieve, but unless I try I'll never know will I?